Not everyone born from 23rd August to 22nd September (when the sun is in Virgo) is likely to be “the same”. But there are certain Virgo characteristics that Virgo sun individuals may share – and there are Virgo characteristics that are certain to be very prevalent in you if you have one or more other planets and angles (particularly the Moon, Mars, Venus, Mercury or Ascendant) in the sign of Virgo.
I know a lot of Virgo Sun people, of which I am one. There are also a surprisingly large number of Virgo Mercury people within my circle of friends, of which I am also one. This is probably because style of communication and speech is very important to me and Mercury rules communication. Mercury is also the ruling planet of the sign Virgo, giving Virgos an advantage in the arena of communication and education. People with Mercury in Virgo are likely to speak in a straight yet diplomatic, truthful, intelligent and rational way – not prone to wild exaggerations or lies – and have a natural talent for teaching and explaining things to others.
My mother has a Virgo Moon, so that’s an energy I’ve been around from a very early age, and I’ve also experienced the challenge – and honour – of being in a long-term relationship with someone who had multiple personal planets (Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars) in Virgo – making them a super-charged, rather extreme example of a Virgo. There’s been a lot of Virgo energy in my life, and I’d like to write about it today – about what it means to me to have Virgo placements.
Virgo is associated with the symbol of a Virginal woman. Pure, perfect and untainted. This also has connotations of the nun or monk who dedicates themselves to a life of servitude and spirituality, or of the archetype of the Virgin Mary. Of course this doesn’t mean that Virgos embody all these things – these are simply symbols and an archetype which fits with some of the characteristics of the sign. It is an Earth sign with a mutable (flexible and shifting) nature and a feminine modality (usually associated with more introverted characters and Yin energy). This means that, when we compare Virgo to other signs it may seem ‘weak’ because of its gentleness and its ability to bend and be different things to different people. This is not a domineering sign and people with heavy Virgo placements are unlikely to behave in a ruthlessly ambitious way and end up in positions of authority over others – many of them wouldn’t be comfortable with this. This is not boss or “daddy” energy (as is the case with Capricorn for example) but rather a kind of maternal energy, the energy of a dedicated nurse, or a spiritual guru who has dedicated their life to the betterment of themselves and others. It is a selfless energy which likes to commit acts of service for others and is very interested in getting things right, doing things the best way possible, and helping and improving.
Virgos are well known for being critical types and pedantic perfectionists. There is truth in this, but what many don’t realise is that much of their criticism and pedantry is turned inwards against themselves and, although people with Virgo placements may be harsh sometimes towards you, it is nothing compared to the way they treat themselves. Perfection, or at least the fulfillment of a certain level of standards that is acceptable to them, is important to people with Virgo energy. If they’re going to do something and put their name to it, it needs to be done right; and if they feel they can’t do it right, they may well decide not to do it at all. They take their responsibilities seriously. And if they don’t care about something – if they don’t see a benefit in it and a reason to do it – they are unlikely to be able to do it well. Mindless, menial tasks and repetition do not suit a Virgo.
There should be a meaning to what they do and an outcome that helps others or helps the world, somehow. They don’t particularly need recognition for what they achieve – they are more like the scientist who works independently behind the scenes to develop a cure for cancer but is too uncomfortable to get up on the stage and accept their Nobel prize. Knowing they’ve helped is enough of an award and they are unlikely to enjoy being in the spotlight of lavish praise. Compliments make them blush and lower their eyes whilst they’re inwardly half delighted and half wanting to die of embarrassment. Humble individuals who are way smarter and way more capable than they might let on.
A Virgo under stress will take perfectionism to an extreme and fall into masochistic, overly self-critical behaviours and possibly even forms of OCD. Over-thinking things to the Nth degree can become a form of paralysis that breeds fearfulness and inaction. Nervousness and anxiety can be common and if there is no healthy outlet for it then it can become a real problem.
As Earth signs, Virgos really benefit from time spent in nature. Those with a Virgo Ascendant or Venus are likely to outwardly express their earthiness with a practical and conservative choice of clothing – neutral colours, perhaps a particular fondness for greens, browns etc. and outdoor style clothing, sensible hair styles and minimal makeup. Natural beauty and a neat and tidy look. Virgos often have a very positive relationship with animals and treat them with respect and kindness. They often have great respect for the environment and may be involved in hobbies which support the natural world, for example gardening and conservation work. Having a pet is a good idea for people with strong Virgo energy as they need something to take care of. Whether it’s plants, a dog, their partner or their children, the Virgo native needs to be needed and it makes them feel good to nurture something or someone else. It increases their sense of self-worth and is an outlet for their natural care-taking abilities. Obviously, Virgos make great medical professionals or veterinarians and have a natural aptitude for healing of all kinds. Being of service to others – particularly as healers or teachers – is likely to give them a sense of fulfilment they may feel empty without.
Another stereotype of Virgos is that they are very well organized. Personally, I don’t think this is always the case. I know some very lackadaisical and disorganized people with Virgo placements who can’t be on time to save their lives (I’m one of them) and will let dishes pile up by the sink. However, even if they don’t obviously display these traits, they do tend to enjoy organising and facilitating things. I can’t meet a deadline, but I always keep my CD collection alphabetised. If you’re planning some kind of trip or holiday with a Virgo friend or partner, you can be sure that they will enjoy taking care of the details and will find it a welcome honour to be responsible for making sure the logistics are taken care of.
Virgo in Love
And what about the Virgo in love? Well, this is an interesting and challenging sphere for these natives. Now, when I talk about Virgo in love, I’m talking about people with love, sex and emotion related planets in Virgo – not necessarily Virgo Sun people. The position of Mars and Venus in our chart have a strong influence on what we appreciate in the romantic and sexual sphere, and the condition of the Moon in our charts also has a very strong influence on how we feel and express our emotions. So, I’m now going to talk about those with some of the following placements: Virgo Venus (love, romance and aesthetics), Virgo Mars (sex and drive) and Virgo Moon (emotions and subconscious).
Society conditions us to see love in a certain way: wild, spontaneous, passionate; striking us like a bolt of lightning and taking us over entirely so we are swept up in it and consumed. We’re also fed certain similar ideas about sex – that it too is somehow something we cannot control because it should also be wild, passionate, uncontrollable… that sexual desire is a kind of wave that overcomes us and we surrender to it entirely, sometimes behaving in ways that are not typical, taking risks and being reckless and even aggressive in the quest to satisfy our animal instincts. None of this is very Virgo. Water signs (Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio) are prone to being swept up in a tempest of intense romantic feelings and Fire signs (Aries, Leo Sagittarius) are the types to rip off their partner’s clothes before making wild love to them in the sand or whatever; but none of this really applies to Virgo – the practical, measured, careful Earth sign who likes to do things ‘properly’ (it doesn’t particularly float with Capricorn either, and Taurus too needs a certain level of comfort and practicality – so Earth signs in general can struggle with common romantic stereotypes of love and sex).
Those with Venus and / or Mars in Virgo may feel that there is something wrong with them in the relationship arena. They may find themselves somehow unable to throw caution to the wind in the way that others so frequently seem to do and instead find themselves caught up in crippling over-analysis of potential partners and relationships and a frustrating propensity to be put off really easily by imperfections in others which might not bother the average person but which the Virgo Venus or Mars may find repulsive. They don’t usually like what others like. The heterosexual Virgo Venus / Mars man may look at a pretty woman wearing a lot of makeup, high heels and a skimpy dress and, instead of finding himself aroused, may think that she looks cheap, or that the pores of her skin are clogged with the disgusting makeup, that mascara has bunched up some of her eye-lashes like creepy spiders’ legs or that she has red pimples on her thighs from poor leg shaving or waxing skills and blisters on the back of her heels from those ridiculous shoes etc. and all of this will be really off-putting for him. Individuals with these Virgo placements may find that, even if they find the person in front of them physically attractive, there are certain mannerisms, habits, ways of speaking or behaving that really rub them the wrong way and that they find too irritating to consider being romantically close to the person.
Ultimately, Virgo Venus / Mars and maybe also Moon is not really looking to get laid, but rather looking for the perfect partner: someone really smart and accomplished but humble with it, someone beautiful but in a natural and understated way, someone fit and healthy with a wholesome lifestyle and diet, someone kind and humanitarian, someone who appreciates them and will understand that their criticism and ‘well meaning advice’ can be a way of showing love. Unfortunately for Virgo, while they are sitting in the corner of the room desperately trying to work up the courage to ask out this ‘perfect person’, somebody else with more assertive signs in their birth chart has already swept in there and snapped up that potential partner, and the Virgo remains alone… a familiar story for them.
Repeated experiences of disappointment in romance can add to the Virgo’s feelings of being somehow ‘not normal’, frigid or not desirable, and somehow not able to behave ‘appropriately’ in the world of dating, relationships and sex. Particularly if the Virgo Venus / Mars is a cisgender man – society expects a degree of courage, spontaneity and dominance from men when approaching romance and this is not something that comes naturally to someone with these placements. They are shy and humble and cannot brag, lie or show-off in order to impress potential partners. They would hate to, in any way, misread a partner and ‘force themselves’ on someone (they are usually not really into conquest or ‘the chase’), so they are likely to be very hesitant about making sexual advances – to such an extent that the object of their desire may actually think they are not interested at all and walk away from a potential relationship before it has even started because they read the Virgo’s cautious approach as disinterest, or as being ‘friend-zoned’.
If you manage to get one of these individuals into bed, you are lucky indeed because you have passed many tests and you must have done something right in order for them to be comfortable enough with you to try and switch off that overactive brain, relax and be intimate. This is a big deal for them and not always something that comes naturally. You may also find that it really takes them time to let themselves go and loosen up and drop the self-consciousness. Performance anxiety and being self-conscious about their body can be an issue, not necessarily because they lack self-confidence, but because it is really important for them to leave their lover satisfied – and this goes back to what I said earlier about needing to perform acts of service and be of help to others. The same traits that make them great healers and health-care workers also make them considerate, attentive and imaginative lovers. They are highly unlikely to see to their own pleasure then disappear. They will want to know that their partner is fully satisfied – even if they themselves are not. They are not focused exclusively on physical pleasure and / or orgasms. A quick, spontaneous shag is unlikely to be very satisfying for these individuals as they prefer to take their time and to have the right circumstances and surroundings for the experience.
Their love of ‘perfection’ can create a problem here. Poor personal hygiene or unpleasant physical surroundings can ruin romantic and sexual experiences for them. Whilst other people could tolerate a drunken partner reeking of booze and fags, or a sweaty partner just come back from the gym, the Virgo Venus / Mars will probably find this a huge turn off. They may be completely unable to enjoy sex if they haven’t had a shower (and maybe also performed other acts of self-hygiene) beforehand. They may require you to do the same. They may require more foreplay – not only physical but also intellectual and emotional – than others. They are likely to care more than others about sexual health and contraception. You may be able to persuade them to have spontaneous sex outdoors or in the back seat of a car etc. but they will definitely be happier in their own bedroom, or a nice hotel room, where the environment is most conducive to intimacy… maybe music, soft lighting, candles etc. and nice food and drink.
The tight rein they keep on themselves sexually may lead to them developing some kinks and fetishes that they may struggle to tell you about and be shy to actually explore in reality. It’s not always easy for them to tell you what they want and they may expect you to be a mind-reader… that would be ideal because then they wouldn’t have to say anything ridiculous or embarrassing! These individuals are likely to have a very highly developed mental world of fantasy and imagination and may well enjoy aspects of BDSM as it plays to their desire to please and serve others or, conversely, may offer them an opportunity to take the dominant role they are so unlikely to assume in ‘the real world’. Either way, there really needs to be a lot of trust, security and acceptance with a partner in order for them to share anything like this.
What these individuals may lack in spontaneity or raw passion they certainly make up for in thoughtfulness. They make loyal and kind partners who will never forget a birthday or anniversary and will give you a meaningful and special gift, perhaps something handmade, or designed and ordered especially for you. They will remember little details about you – your likes and dislikes, your history and previous experiences, particular little things you said that struck a chord in them. They will study you and learn you and then try to do things that please you and fit with your tastes. This is their love language. They are masters of little sarcastic comments that only you will understand, shy, smouldering glances that only you will see, little touches of perfection and thoughtful gestures that will catch you unawares – or that you may not even notice at all because they are so subtle.
They are beautiful souls, and can also be quite fragile; so if you are of a very different nature to them it is important to treat them with care and try not to tease or ridicule them for the ways in which they differ from you, or from society’s norms in general.
If their cautiousness, over-thinking and subtlety in romance is not something you appreciate or can tolerate in the long term – do them a favour and let them go. Because there are plenty of people out there who would really like to have this kind of a partner. But it takes maturity to appreciate the kind of love these individuals can give and they are more likely to find love a little later in life, when those around them have grown up a bit and started to realise that loyalty, thoughtfulness and kindness are actually much more important and attractive qualities in a partner than charm, extroversion and confidence.
To return to the image of the virgin – there certainly *is* a purity and innocence to these types, and also a natural propensity to take care of and nurture people, animals and the natural world. There is humility and respect for their place in the world and no delusions of grandeur. These self-effacing yet massively capable individuals are absolutely essential for the world. They keep things going. They make sure that things work. They water the flowers, they remember birthdays, they remind others of their strengths, they oil the machinery, they bring the coffee and biscuits, they create artwork and music, they write literature, they tend to the sick, they conduct research and make important discoveries, they appreciate and give thanks for the little things in life that others perhaps don’t see and they have an inherent love of and respect for the miracles of the natural world. They are sensitive souls and sometimes more like angels – slightly tortured by the human condition – than ordinary mortals. They sometimes carry the weight of the world on their shoulders but most likely won’t complain about it much, because that’s just not their style and they don’t see why others should have to listen to their negativity so would rather stoically suffer in silence.
So, this is me sending my admiration, love and respect to those of you out there with Virgo placements. Keep doing what you do, because we all need you more than you’ll ever know.